First, lets define gaslighting:
“Psychological manipulation of a person usually over an extended period of time that causes the victim to question the validity of their own thoughts, perception of reality, or memories and typically leads to confusion, loss of confidence and self-esteem, uncertainty of one’s emotional or mental stability, and a dependency on the perpetrator”
– Merrium Webster
What is Gaslighting in the workplace?
When a coworker or boss tries to manipulate you to where you start questioning your perception of things. Gaslighting can happen in any setting and this includes the workplace. In fact, a recent poll of more than 3,000 people between the ages of 18 and 54 found that 58% of the respondents said they have experienced gaslighting at work.
What are examples of Gaslighting in the workplace?
- You have a horrible memory
- Statements like this will leave someone doubting themselves. In a work setting someone may say this to another which can embarrass them in front of coworkers
- I told you about the meeting, I sent out a email, are you sure you didn’t get it?
- This is a classic example of putting the blame on the other person..
- What are you talking about I never said that!
- Statements like this make the other person question their reality, maybe I heard them wrong.
- Don’t take things so personally.
- Usually said when someone does not want to take accountability for what they have said
- I am sorry you feel that way
- This is a A non-apology! There is no accountability for someones behaviors or words here.
How to get help
- Individual therapy: Seek out support through therapy to learn what gaslight in the workforce is, how to set boundaries at work, and ways of coping.
- Support groups: Find a support group in your area with other people who have experienced similar situations.
- If possible talk to someone you trust: Talk to a friend, a coworker, a manager, Human Resources, etc.
Wrapping it up…
There are a lot of toxic workplaces out there. Be mindful in how other people are treating you. Although reaching out for help can be scary, it can be the first step to healing.
Blog Disclaimer – These posts are not meant to treat, diagnose, or serve as a replacement for therapy. If you are experiencing a mental health emergency, please contact your local crisis center or dial 911. Here are more immediate resources as well.